The Asexual Haux: Let's Play!

A pretty great layout of adult play time for asexual hauxs like Apyphanie Dawn by Apyphanie Dawn.

Play /plā/ : activity engaged in for enjoyment and recreation.

Now we all know the play I’m talking about is a little more adult in nature. If you have ever been to Taste.Touch.Feel, you know that play has many dimensions and variations to satisfy anyone, asexual or not. I’ve currently been on a personal journey of abstinence and asexual romantic dating as you may know from my previous blog, and finding new ways to play is of top priority. I challenge you to incorporate some of these next few play moves in your space or at the next Taste.Touch.Feel After Party on April 27th!


I like to start at the top of the body and work my way down. Exciting the senses is the best way to give some electricity to asexual playtime. I have locs, if you don’t already know, and I love getting a good scalp rub. It gives me goosebumps and I can feel the touch all over my body. It can be an extremely intimate exchange if both parties let go and truly live in the moment. Rubbing the temples or massaging the nape of the neck are good ways to engage the head. You can also gently run your fingers through their hair, or give it a little tug if they’re into it.


Whether you whisper sweet, lovely nothings in your play partner’s ear or give their lobes a nibble in between make-out sessions; the ears are truly the side doors to the brain and the brain is the control center of asexual flirtation. Not everyone enjoys ear-play so be sure to get consent before jumping into any of these moves. I personally have very sensitive ears and bending or maneuvering my ears can be very painful. Behind the ear is a low-key place with high-key results, give it a kiss with some umph! The key to the ear is to be gentle, deliberate, and not too loud.


I’m referring more to scent. Light fragrances with pheromones are ideal for intimate encounters. You don’t want something that will be overpowering or too harsh to someone with a sensitive nose. Try natural essential oils that are thoroughly diluted with a fragrance-free carrier oil. Rub it on fresh out the shower and you’ll have a nice light scent that will last well into the night. I would suggest a nice long shower before playing, maybe do it an hour or 2 ahead of time to restore your natural scent before playtime.


Aside from kissing, the mouth is truly a playground. Honestly, just use your imagination. Incorporate taste by trying blind food tasting. Play an arousing game of ‘What Did You Just Kiss?’. Blind fold your partner and have them kiss body parts and try to guess what it is, I like to play with body parts that are outside of the bikini zones, but it’s your world, squirrel.


At this point, arousal is definitely imminent. A relaxing massage can help even out the senses and create a warm, comforting experience. If you’re partner is more into a cool touch, try running your hands under cold water or ice cubes. The sensation can be an amazing release for your partner. Some of us (read: I) like a little pain with my pleasure. Biting, spanking, and reasonable force are my go-tos in the asexual arena, they give playtime a nice jolt. Depending on your boundaries and location on the asexual spectrum, a mutual masturbation session may be the perfect ending to your session.

Playing can be just as much fun as it sounds, with or without sex. I hope you got your tickets to Braux Code, so you can try out some of these asexual play moves at the After Party. Just remember to shout me out if you snag a new bae in the process.